Bravery: now with a lovely yellow stripe down the back.

Posted by in birth, Motherhood, NaBloPoMo, pregnancy | 1 Comment

Alright, I can’t leave something depressing up for very long without worrying that ‘oh noes I seem emo’, so how about a little pregnancy update, in keeping with my NaBloPoMo theme, aye?

I am not brave. I know you think I am, for having a natural birth, a homebirth at that, but really, I have to tell you, I am not brave.  In fact, I am a big chicken. I am not brave enough to demand a normal birth in a hospital setting – I am not strong enough to say “No” to needles and lines and monitors and routine drugs and timetables and deadlines and the reality that a third  of the healthy woman who walks into a hospital to birth comes out with major abdominal surgery.  I know a number of women who have had a natural birth in a hospital, but never known one who did not have to fight for it, and truthfully, I am just a big wuss.

As for the safety of homebirth, a little research goes a long way. Because, while I know you did not intend to insult (or I will give you the benefit of the doubt anyway), but saying, “You are so brave”, you are implying that I am somehow putting myself and my child at risk. Again and again, planned homebirth has been proven to be as safe as hospital birth, by the World Health Organization, by the American Public Health Association, by independent studies, and by the safest countries in the world for birth, where midwives (and homebirth) are the norm.

I’m not saying it is for everyone – I truly believe that every woman and family needs to make their own choice about their birth place – but I am a little tired of being seen as some martyr looking for attention just because I am scared of putting myself into the hands of a system that I do not think is right for our family.  We are not brave – we are educated, we are thoughtful, and we are realistic – our child’s safety comes before any of ideal birth experience, and if at any time we (or our highly trained birth attendant) feels that we are putting anyone at risk we will happily accept medical help, but until these things happen, why assume they will? Why am I assumed broken until I prove I am not (and then will be called “lucky”)?

Gah, here I came to  bring some levity to the little ol’ blog, and ended up lecturing. *sigh* I think I will scrap this day and start over again tomorrow – nice that we can do that, isn’t it?

One Response to Bravery: now with a lovely yellow stripe down the back.

  1. allamericanmom
    2007-11-03 05:56 pm UTC (link) Track This
    Okay, so I haven’t or didn’t read the other entry yet, but I think you’re brave to admit that if you need medical intervention, you’ll accept it! In this day and age, I see far too many ‘crunchy moms’ saying that they absolutely would not go for medical intervention… and then something happens, ya know?

    I admire your spirit, and am in awe of people like you!! :) Home births/natural births aren’t for everyone, no matter what others might say… some times I wish I’d pursued a natural approach, but I’m a big fat weenie. :p

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