The Trivial Pursuit of Happiness

of course, if you get bumped to the next flight, and wanted to spend 3$ for 15 min on a comp, you could.

i have to much to say. so instead i write in my little book, hoping you are to, so we can trade in a few weeks. thank you, by the way. for everything, for being you…. for having the ability to make me laugh at the least appropiate moments.

“omaha?” the boy asks his friend. “is thatwhere we are going?”
“might as well” his friend says.

exactly.

ihave awholepostinmy mind,butthis spacebar is PISSINGME OFF…

urg

so,i leave at 6:06 am on thursday, and tomorrow (wednesday) is lisa’s b-day… sooooooooooo i am having dinner here, and then meeting up with ang and boys? i don’tknow. but i don’t want to park my car at the airport for a week …. so we should just stay out allnight.

it will be the last time i see ang fora while.

can i deal withthis?????

MISUNDERSTOOD

Talking in her sleep again
Reciting lines start to end
But she’s not crazy
(Knock on wood)
Just a little misunderstood
She takes a walk at 4AM
Wakes the neighborhood again
And I find myself recalling everything she used to tell me
song about me

there are some people in the world who play music becuase they are good at it.
there are some people in the world who play music because they want to be famous.
there are some people in the world who play music because they have no choice – it is like breathing, – if they do not do it, they may die.
this is how i see kevin griffin from better than ezra.

i saw them live today, for the first time. i can remember sitting in my front yard in choudrant, looseranna, knowing, at least 10 times, that they were playing in little bars, 10 miles away, i could not get into. they were home off tour, and would just pop in, tuesday night, and play. because they needed to.
and i was 14 and listening to ‘deluxe’ and ‘friction baby’, wanting nothing more than to NOT feel what was on those cd’s……..

so ya. i saw them last night. and they are coming back in 6 weeks.

funny though, how the other cd that was always going with us was eve 6, and the open road song, and they played with them.

i want my sister to name her child after ezra pound.

so……. my car. i know everyone is tired of the damn thing, but try to imagine how I must feal. POS. but yeah. my dad came home and got it, said it was just a broken wire. he’s fixing it, i’m wondering why. it’ll just be broke next weekend when he comes home. *sigh*

tonight is lisa’s birthday camping party. a tradition we started when we were 14, that and pink cupcakes. shit. better go find some. she’ll be 18, the last of us to have the right to vote, buy cig’s, lotto tickets, and not be able to consort with minors. which means we are all ‘adults’ now, the next in line to take charge of the world. now doesn’t THAT make you wish you had listened to that ‘the children are our future’ song.

somedays i have so little confidence in my generation. raised by hippies, forced into technology, fed nothing but preservitives, addicted to the media……. i watch eli in the other room, singing to his highchair, wondering if his generation will be able to pick up our slack.

go get ready for work ivory.

Ivory

——————————————————————————–
Your name of Ivory gives you a strong sense of responsibility in business and material affairs, and the practicality and determination to make a success of anything you undertake. You are self-sufficient and capable, and have an interest in positions of leadership and responsibility. You are competent in directing the efforts of others, as you have good business judgment and the natural understanding of people. Very likely you have assumed much responsibility early in life and are often required to make major decisions. You appreciate settled, accumulative conditions, and a high standard of living. You have a strong, determined nature and tend to dominate others, and to interfere, at times, in your desire to be helpful. This name gives you many good characteristics, but it is too strong, creating a materialistic nature and bringing out a forceful, demanding quality. The heavy responsibility your name creates can result in a worrying, intense nature. It spoils the development and expression of your warmer, more feminine attributes. It causes tension and allied problems in the female organs.

eak.

“A lot of people keep journals that just drip of the deliberate intent to sound poetic or thoughtful, or make you go, “Hey, that guy’s one intellectual bastard!”

This is not one of those journals. I can’t think of anything more ridiculous than conciously selecting words that are aesthetically pleasing because you want the faceless people reading your journal to be impressed by what you hope they find is your deep and thoughtful nature.

Um.

I can’t think of much else to say besides that. “

getting a ride home with a friend yesterday, lisa came up. we were listening to eric clapton, and he asked me how lisa’s guitar playing was going, and i looked over at him. he smiled. “i know we never talked in high school, but i really respect that girl. i mean, she has to be one of the prettiest girls i have ever known, just because she is at peace it seems. ya know?” “ya. ya. i do. ”

life with lisa has never been dull. i could list the crazy things we have done, but saying them out loud always sems to diminish part of the magic, the innocence of our laughter… 4 years. lyingin the dark the other night, we were talking about how our lives are leading us in different directions. “i would gladly trade my fears for yours.” we whispered….

beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but sometimes i am blind, and need a friend shine a light..

as a TOM fest groupie, i get an email from mikee, the founder, about once a week lately, and his last line on the last one was : His army is being assembled.

somedays i want to weep for the power of god.