The Trivial Pursuit of Happiness

thank you for emails that let me poke around in your life.

*amazed by honesty*

“what if there are no perfect guys?”
“then we just have to keep kissing the imperfect ones… “

i wish i had words to say it will be okay.

anything.
any of it.

but words don’t do it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGIE!!!!!

i was going to be really cute and call you and sing you happy birthday, but it says your number is not in sevice??? well one way or another, i love you and hope your day is WUNDER FULL.

877-299-7400 ext. 411

free message thing. because i am curious.

YAY for:
lisa most likely coming out this saturday, and bringing my guitar and possibly a couple friends of ours

BOO for:
realizing i hadn’t eaten anything today, and that was why my hands were shaking so much that i could not hold my pencil.

YAY for:
being offered a new job

BOO for:
it being as a nude model in the art dept. and if the pay was higher…

YAY for:
half baked ben and jerrys ice cream

BOO for:
the 5 lbs that came out of nowhere.

YAY for:
birthdays tomorrow

BOO for:
nothing happening for them until friday

YAY for:
happenings friday

BOO for:
how stupid i get when i am at ‘happenings’

#1 pet peeve of the day – being ignored.

and so, at the strike of 12, princess ivory, who had been so fair and lovely the evening before, suddenly became sullen and angry, changed into ugly PJ’s and retired to her bed to mope.

have been trying to go to bed for many hours, and somehow just never get there.
laura is gone for the night. she has boy drama like no-other, and went to try and sort it out. and since she has not come back, i suppose she has found a solution.

i hate missing people. one of my least favorite feelings is waking up without arms i expect around me. maybe that is why i do not sleep. putting off the daylight, and all the realizations that come along with it.
maybe i am not cut out for this.

but i hate that more.

so i am taking off my tiara, grabing ben and jerry to keep me company in bed, and hopefully not falling asleep with the carton half-full.

it’s been a long day. a very good, long day.

sometimes
i know
that i will
make it.

“hi ivory, this is rosie from the financial aid departmant, and i just wanted to let you know that the committee met and ”
*deep breath*
“they decided to”
*so close to tears*
“approve your petition, and if i can help you with any paperwork, let me know. Congradulations ivory.”

I AM STAYING.

i don’t even know what to DO with myself.