The Trivial Pursuit of Happiness

i am going to sleep. right now. at 11:40.

unheard of.

good day, of unexpected good things (including jackie winning on tough enough). think i managed to alienate some people though. remember how if i make you mad you have to tell me? yeah. don’t forget that.

so yes. sleep. crazy.

okay, amendment. lame jokes and potty humor has won me over more than once. even those jokes that involve crossing an elephant and a rhinosaurus (elif i know) work.

so yeah. the lame jokes stay.
sorry if i caused any confusion.

and directly after posting that, the boy who writes me cute notes calls, and says he is coming over.

what? who’s life is this…

as requested:
tips about girls (note: reading this, i realized this is tips on girls like me. i really can not speak for the other part of the population… just a sidenote)

getting her interested:
well first, smile at them. i am 4535765 times more likely to talk to the guy who smiles at me, than the one who trys to act all cool.

talk to them. you’d think this was a given, but you’d be suprised. try to find a setting that is not intimidating, and just strike it up about anything. you can tell alot about someone just by their apperance, but try not to make assumptions that may get you punched in the face. be funny. (no potty humor,and if you have to try and be funny, just be serious. forced humor is often followed by forced laughter.)

asking her out:
get her number. be genuine. tell her you enjoyed talking to her and would like to talk to her more.
CALL HER. okay, you can wait a day, maybe 2. but at 3, girls lose interest, even forget you. no kidding.
ask her out. all she can say is yes or no. you will live if she doesn’t want to. i swear.

dating:

first dates – not alot of advice here. mostly just be yourself. she will either like you, or not. same as above. you will live. don’t be fake, don’t lie to impress her. if you do convince her to like you that way, you will just have to keep it up. lame.

be the one to think of dates, at first. take her to your favorite places, find places you are comfortable, because that will help her be comfortable.

ask her about herself. take her lead in conversations. if she doesn’t want to talk about certain things, don’t push it. don’t just talk about you, but don’t refuse to talk about yourself. on the flip side, don’t reveal everything. there is a time and place for certain stories, and i have found that tragic stories of your childhood are better left for later.

bring her flowers. i think it’s different for each type of girl, but for most girls i know, just any flowers (other than the ones from her front yard) will do. shows you are thinking about her. little presents work too (know her favorite type of candy? pick up some and keep it in your car. say “oh, i saw this and thought of you”.)

tell her she is pretty. and what about her is pretty… her eyes, the new shirt, how her hair falls into her eyes. show that you really ARE looking at her

important: take her sexual cues also. if she leans in for a kiss, go for it. if she shakes your hand at the end of the night, leave. you should be open to her body language (crossing her legs toward you, putting her hand close to yours, etc vs. arms crossed, keeping a good distance) and move from there.

Keeping the girl:
yeaahhhh.. you are on your own here. i really wish i knew what to tell you. but even as a girl, i don’t know. maybe just don’t take her for granted. still show that you are looking at her, thinking about her. phone calls and little notes. give her reasons to think about you.

losing the girl:
don’t give up to quick, but know when to go on with your life. sad, but true, it happens.

remember how it feels to cry from happiness?
or to dance while people are watching, because you are so into the moment?
or how about how it feels to be swept off your feet with a kiss?

i do. and these things keep me going.

lets go.

something that i love, and just realized, is that i know most the people on my list. as in, i have lunch with them, see them on the way to class and hug them, have made mad dashs to the beach with them, am going to canada with them, have made out with them (only a few), actually know them, instead of just through lj. (not saying i don’t enjoy my oh so wonderful lj friends also). but yeah, the fact that if i write “i want a sandwhich” i have 40 some people who know my room #, and (if they didn’t suck) could bring me one, kind of makes me smile. *shrug*

ANYWAYS i have decided i am not doing anything tonight. i need to do some intensve studying, and somehow i never seem to get around to that. i have a feeling i may have plans i forgot, so if i was going to do something with you, and flake? don’t hate me. know i am sitting in my room, giving myself carpletunnel (spelled wrong i am sure) from never having learned how to type right, and being oh so confused with annuities. and hungry, since i now officially have $1.26 on my food card. (i have enough junk food to last me though i think)*eats a little debbie nutty bar.. or 3.*

have a long post about some things i learned in psych this week in my mind, but i also have papers due in 20 minutes that are yet to reach my fingertips. oh how i love my life…

dolls are fun

but i’m starting to hate sleeping more.

keep having these nightmares – won’t go into details, but it is the same nightmare i have had for years – sometimes the characters just change. right now, it’s my bro. and i wake up and stare at the ceiling, and try to remember why i am so scared. see, i can’t go into details, because there are none. i just wake up so scared, and with someone on my mind.

the summer before my senior year a friend of mine used to stay until i would finally fall asleep, and then leave, so that when his mom would wake him up at 8, he would be in bed, at times having just crawled in to it. i never have these dreams (or wakings i suppose) when i fall asleep next to someone. actually, i havn’t had them in a while, at all, (even with all the sleeping alone i have been doing). but now they are back, and i sit here until i am exhasted, trying to find things to keep me awake.

sometimes it’s just that.
thats all it takes
to feel safe.

WHY DO I CALL???

when i know, all it’s going to do it make us both feel like poo, still i call, and we talk about our day, and then we get off the phone. and it feels weird. and i don’t like it.

arhhhhhhhhhhhh i am dumb.